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  • Katie Bock

Oct. 14 - Relational Conflict, Part 1 - The Clash of Desires


Every single one of us can think of a time when we’ve butted heads with someone else because our wants and desires conflicted with theirs. When you think about it, most conflicts can be boiled down to a difference of desires. Anything from a dispute with another driver on the freeway, to a clash between spouses, to a war among nations; these all might be avoided if one party set their wants aside and aligned their desires with God’s instead.

James 4:1-3 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

It’s not easy to set aside our desires. It feels like we’re sacrificing our happiness just so someone else can get what they want. We think if we could just get our way in this instance, we would be so much happier, so we’re willing to throw a wrench into a relationship to get what we want. But we know this isn’t what God wants for us. You know who does want that? The enemy, who is trying to sow seeds of conflict into our lives. He loves that stuff.

On the other hand, God wants us to make every effort to stay united with each other and to bring our desires into line with His. As you find yourself facing a relational conflict, remember to view each situation in light of eternity. Will you care that everyone went to the restaurant that you wanted when you’re facing your Maker?


Ephesians 4:3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Let’s all work together to set our desires aside and not allow them to damage our personal relationships or our community in the church. Pray today that God’s desires will become your desires and you will see changes in your life you’ve never imagined!

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