The full video of this teaching is at the bottom of this post and also available at this link.
SENSORY ADAPTATION
My brother turned sixteen in 1983. He could drive now, which meant his hunting grounds for dates had expanded considerably. Drakkar Noir cologne had hit the market just one year earlier. These two events were about to become a problem for our entire household.
Not because of his dating. He was a great guy. No issues there. It was the Drakkar.
One light spray at the base of his neck would've been plenty for the day. But the more he wore it, the less he could smell it. So every time he headed back out the door, he figured he needed another spray.
You know how this goes. The less he could smell it, the more he put on. When he left the house looking for a date, his cologne stayed another three hours!
Neuroscientists call this sensory adaptation. It happens when you're exposed to something for so long that your senses stop noticing it as much.
The importance of the Bible to the Christian life can scarcely be overstated; however, the phenomenon of sensory adaptation applies here as well. The danger is that the stories of Jesus and his disciples become so familiar that they lose their influence over us…
The work of becoming disciple makers isn’t easy. Anyone who has been moved by the call of the Great Commission can testify that knowing what we should do and actually doing it are two very different things. Understanding Jesus’s mission of disciple making is easy, but doing it can feel daunting. This is where the power of making ourselves accountable comes into play…
I think this is the key to becoming disciple makers today. We need to come together with a small group of like-minded folks and hold one another accountable to Jesus’s top priority.
– Become, Sam Barber
When it comes to following Jesus, sometimes we need people close enough to recognize what we've stopped noticing ourselves. That's what happened with my brother and his Drakkar Noir. He could still smell it, just not nearly as well as those of us close to him could.
ACCOUNTABILITY RELATIONSHIPS
My favorite definition of accountability is this: pursuing Christian relationships to be known, challenged, and supported in becoming like Jesus and joining in His mission.
To be known
If we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other. –1 John 1:7
Walking in the light is the opposite of spiritual isolation, and John ties it directly to fellowship (Greek: koinōnia, sharing life together in Christ, characterized by truth, openness, and mutual participation).
Challenged
You must warn each other every day… so that none of you will be deceived by sin and hardened against God. –Hebrews 3:13
Challenge is a form of protection. Sin deceives slowly, and we need someone outside our own head who can recognize what we're missing and love us enough to tell us.
Supported in becoming like Jesus
Speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ. –Ephesians 4:15-16.
Support means we don't just point out where someone needs to grow; we walk alongside them as they grow. Paul reminds us that becoming like Jesus is something the body does together.
Joining in His mission
The Great Commandment motivates us into the Great Commission. Our love for God and people moves us beyond our own spiritual growth to helping others follow Jesus.
WHAT ABOUT US?
Most of us don't need to be convinced that relationships like this are important. We already see their value.
What keeps us from pursuing the very relationships we know we need?
Why do we hesitate to let people close enough to help us?
Let me share a few practical things I've learned over the years that can help us make these relationships a priority.
Hiding costs more than being known.
Most of us avoid accountability because being known feels risky. What if they see the real me? But hiding has its own price tag, and it's steeper. Secrets compound interest. They cost us sleep, energy, honesty at home, and the freedom to walk into a room without managing what people think of us. Being known may cost us a moment of embarrassment. Hiding can cost us years.
Pursue. Don't wait to be invited.
Many of us are quietly waiting for someone to notice we need help. Meanwhile, the people around us are waiting for the same thing. Everybody's waiting; nobody's asking. Accountability doesn't just happen to us. It's something we intentionally pursue. And most people are honored to be asked. Sometimes all it takes is a simple invitation: Would you be willing to meet every couple of weeks and ask me how I'm really doing?
Give permission out loud.
Challenge with permission feels like love. Most friends won't challenge us unless we've told them they can. Nobody wants to overstep. So hand them the keys, and be specific. A vague "keep me accountable" doesn't give them much to work with. But saying, "I'm giving you permission to call me out on how I talk to my kids" does.
Choose character over comfort.
Your favorite person may not be your best accountability partner. The friend you laugh with and vent to might also always take your side. That feels good, but it doesn't always help you grow. Look for someone who loves Jesus and loves you enough to say the hard thing. Here's a simple test: Has this person ever told me something I didn't want to hear? Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. –Proverbs 27:6
Aim at who you're becoming, not just what you're avoiding.
Most of us hear "accountability" and picture someone checking our homework for sin. But if the only question is, "Did you mess up?" the relationship can become a weekly confession booth, and eventually we stop showing up. The goal isn't a cleaner record. It's becoming like Jesus. So ask about growth, too: "Where are you growing?" "Where did you see God at work this week?" Celebrate progress as much as you confront failure.
Point it outward.
Accountability that only looks inward can turn into navel-gazing. Jesus sent us. Being formed and being sent belong together. So keep asking: "Where is God inviting you to join Him this week?" "Who are you praying for who doesn't know Jesus yet?" An accountability relationship that never asks about the people we're called to reach has missed half the point.
So here's my challenge.
Don't just agree that relationships like this matter. Do something about it. Think of one or two people you could invite into this kind of relationship. Have the conversation. Make the invitation. Give them permission to speak into your life. Because we were never meant to become like Jesus on our own.
©2026 Greg McNichols. All rights reserved.
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