Love My Enemies?

The full video of this teaching is available at the bottom of this post and this link.

MY SEVENTH-GRADE DETENTION ESSAY

In my 7th grade Social Studies class, I discovered a clever way to cheat on tests. For the details, watch the opening of the video linked above. It was in the third 9-week grading period my system failed me. I was busted. I received an after-school detention. The assignment is to write a two-page essay on my chosen subject. I clarified with Mrs. Cornett, "I can write this detention essay on anything I want?"

"Yes," she replied and took her seat behind her desk.

At the end of detention, with two pages complete, I walked up to her desk, handed it to her, and walked home.

The next day, 5th period, I'm sitting in Social Studies, and the room intercom breaks in over her teaching. "Mrs. Cornett, please send Greg McNichols to the principal's office."

As I walked 75 yards down the hallway to the office, I ran through at least 5 things for which I could have been caught. I walked into the office, and to my dismay, there sat my six-foot-eight-inch imposing dad and my mom, the kindest woman you will ever meet. My heart sank when my eye caught my previous day's detention essay in her hand.

The subject I chose to write about and hand back to my teacher was a two-page treatise, written directly to Mrs. Cornett, on how stupid I thought she was and how much I hated her as a teacher!

Why, you ask? Why on earth would I write a two-page hateful essay about my teacher and hand it to her? First, I was a post-pubescent, 5 foot 11, 12-year-old whose brain had not caught up with my body's testosterone (nor did it until age 25). Second, I thought she was my enemy. The things she asked of me in class, such as doing my school work, learning, and not being disruptive, were in opposition to everything my preteen brain wanted. So, I was always at war with her.

Now, at 54, I can see how my 12-year-old self didn’t know how to determine who my enemies were. Also, my responses back then to people I considered my enemies are standard for many. Hate. Work against their interests. Curse them. Slap them back. Reject their requests. Make them feel worse than they make you feel.

In my defense, it was not until my later teenage years that I became a follower of Jesus and dove into Luke 6:27-36 to discover a significant change I would have to make in my life!

JESUS SAID TO LOVE YOUR ENEMIES

Luke 6:27-36, New Living Translation
27 “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. 28 Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. 30 Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back. 31 Do to others as you would like them to do to you.

32 “If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! 33 And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much! 34 And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, why should you get credit? Even sinners will lend to other sinners for a full return.

35 “Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked. 36 You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.

Love your enemies? I get that if you're talking about Russians, Ukrainians, Gazans, and Israelis. But I don't have any enemies. I just have some people I don't like.

That's precisely how we often read Jesus teaching on loving our enemies. We love to read ourselves into Jesus' teachings about blessings. But, we excel at reading ourselves out of Jesus' commands - like loving our enemies.

I won’t spend time exegeting or expounding on these nine verses today. For an excellent exposition of Luke 6:27- 36, I refer you to “Love Your Enemies” by Dr. Ralph F. Wilson.

In this article, we’ll explore the practical applications for those of us who conveniently exclude ourselves from the directives found under the pretext that we don't categorize others as enemies. We will uncover how our approach to those we merely "dislike" is a powerful reflection of our spiritual maturity and where we have room for growth.

I MADE HER MY ENEMY

Let’s start with my 7th-grade self. I was not a follower of Jesus at the time (Non-believer), and I had no desire to be civil with her. This was reflected in my response to Mrs. Cornett. She wanted me to learn social studies. I wanted to play basketball. She wanted me to sit in class and not disrupt her teaching. I wanted the whole class to laugh at everything I said or did. In my heart, she was my enemy.

This illustrates a vital lesson: a person doesn't need to actively oppose us for us to treat them as an enemy. From my self-serving perspective, Mrs. Cornett was an enemy simply because her expectations contradicted my desires. It's easy to see how we can turn people into enemies through our actions. Are you treating someone in your life as an enemy simply because their expectations or desires clash with yours?

WHAT ABOUT THE CONNIVING CO-WORKER

At the office, you feel constantly undermined by your co-worker. She has a habit of speaking poorly of your work while painting herself as the most productive person in the office. You feel frustrated and isolated because she consistently diminishes the value of your work with her conniving tactics. You dread team meetings, anticipating her backhanded compliments and subtle jabs.

Before embracing Christ, your response was straightforward: ignore, despise, or even undermine your co-workers' reputation and productivity. However, you recently became a Christian (New/Young Believer). You are excited and enthused about your new walk with Jesus Christ. You want to discover what Jesus meant when He promised abundant life in this broken world. As annoying as this conniving co-worker is, you want to respond in a way that reflects your new faith. You’ve recently learned from Romans 5:3-5 in your Life Group that “when we run into problems and trials” - includes this conniving co-worker. And you can be grateful for this co-worker because she will help you develop spiritual character and endurance. Transitioning from non-believer to new/young believer in Christ involves learning the importance of loving those hard to love, which embodies the renewal of the mind (Romans 12:1-2).

WHAT ABOUT THE EX-SPOUSE DILEMMA

In the aftermath of a tumultuous divorce, it became painfully clear that your ex-spouse has chosen a path of subtle warfare, wielding your children as unwitting pawns in a relentless campaign of emotional manipulation. Every exchange is tainted with ulterior motives, turning what should have been innocent conversations into calculated moves on a chessboard of spite. Birthdays, holidays, and texts are weaponized, each moment engineered to undermine and isolate, leaving a trail of confusion and hurt in the hearts of the very ones you both claimed to cherish above all. This strategy, cloaked under the guise of parental concern, erodes the fragile innocence of childhood, turning what should have been a sanctuary of growth and love into a battleground of psychological warfare.

Your ex-spouse who has rejected Christ and your marriage and is putting your faith to a real-world test. You’ve been a follower of Christ for years, and your faith is deeply personal, a significant force relevant to every waking moment. Your faith is not defined by attending church services weekly. It is a part of your daily life. You have confidence in the dependability and power of God's presence. You want to demonstrate God’s love daily (Stable/Growing Believer). But your ex makes it a challenge for you!

Where love and patience are tested in the crucible of ongoing conflict, Romans 12:9 nudges us toward something challenging yet transformative. We are urged to genuinely seek the best interest of even those deeply hurting us. For the Stable Growing Believer, this means embracing the challenge of loving an ex-spouse who uses shared children as tools in a campaign of manipulation. It's about seeing beyond the immediate pain and frustration, focusing on actions that promote healing and well-being despite the personal cost. This doesn't require warm feelings but demands a commitment to act in their best interest. This is a powerful testament to the transformative effect of faith in highly complicated circumstances.

The ex-spouse would define their “best interests” as you caving at every manipulation and giving them what they want. But, from a biblical perspective, acting in their best interest means holding them accountable for their psychological manipulation and harming their relationship with the children. Acting in their best interest may mean pursuing legal action in court, getting family-mandated counseling, or even calling the authorities when necessary. Acting in the ex-spouse’s best interest is not warm and fuzzy. It is often about accountability, standing your ground in protecting the children as much as possible, and not harming your ex because they are hurting you. Loving your enemies NEVER means sweeping their abusive behavior under the rug!

WILL YOU LOVE YOUR ENEMIES

The teaching of Jesus we've explored together isn't just about facing adversaries; it's about the spiritual transformation our responses to these adversaries can catalyze within us. Whether you're grappling with the aftermath of a divorce that turns every interaction into a minefield or you're trying to rise above office politics with grace, the essence of our discussion boils down to a simple yet revolutionary command: love your enemies. Act in their best interest from a biblical perspective.

This isn't about condoning harmful behavior or pretending that injustices don't sting. It's about embodying a love that transcends human understanding—one that looks out for the genuine well-being of others. It’s about recognizing that, in the grand scheme of faith, our actions and reactions are not just about navigating earthly conflicts but about aligning our lives with Jesus’ directives that challenge us to grow in Christ-likeness and love better in each adversarial situation life brings our way.

So, as you reflect on the situations we've discussed, ask yourself: How can I act in the genuine best interest of those who oppose me? How can I ensure my actions are reactive and proactive in fostering an environment of healing, accountability, and, ultimately, reconciliation? Remember, loving your enemies is not an endorsement of their actions but a testament to the strength and depth of your faith. It's a bold step toward living out the abundant life Jesus promised, marked by a love that dares to love the hardest to love in the most challenging circumstances. This, dear friends, is the essence of our calling - to reflect Christ's love in every aspect of our lives.

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