THE ALGORITHM’S GONNA GET YOU, 2 of 2

The full video of this teaching is available at the bottom of this post and can also be accessed directly at this link.

CHILI’S AND A WILD CHILD

I was sitting in Chili’s when I noticed a little girl with pigtails, a pink sparkly dress, and light-up shoes, jumping in and out of the booth.

Each jump rattled the silverware on their table.

While the waiter was finishing up at the adjacent table, the little girl called out to him, loud and clear,

“I want French fries and ice cream!”

The waiter, interrupted mid-order, gave her a quick smile. “Okay, sweetie, just a moment.”

The girl continued, even louder,

“I don’t want the white ice cream! I want the chocolate ice cream and sprinkles!”

Her mom didn’t even look up from her phone. “Harper, inside voice.”

Inside voice did not happen.

“I WANT FRENCH FRIES TOO!”

People were watching. And I didn’t try to pretend I wasn’t.

The little girl’s mom said, without lifting her eyes from her phone,

“Okay, honey. You know we’ll order whatever you want.”

The kid was already out of the booth, running between occupied and empty tables.

A waitress with a whole tray of drinks barely missed her.

When their food finally came, the kid kept climbing, jumping, flicking her wet straw, and narrating everything at full volume.

Mom looked like she needed a vacation and a nap. But, she was headed home to another dozen years of Permissive Parenting.

PERMISSIVE PARENTING

Permissive parenting is when a child's desires are fulfilled without direction or correction.

It’s the belief that saying “no” might stifle a child’s spirit, so the parent avoids setting boundaries.

The parent steps back, believing the child should “find their own way,” and the child learns one thing:
my impulses lead the day.

It looks cute at three, chaotic at six, and heartbreaking at sixteen.

And most of the time, the kid doesn’t grow up grounded; they grow up ruled by whatever desire hits them next.

And that’s exactly what I watched in that booth at Chili’s.

Now here’s where my story from Chili’s starts getting helpful. What I saw in that restaurant mirrors something shaping all of us, every single day. Not from a parent. But from something else entirely.

The algorithm is the new, permissive parent.

CREATING BRATS

As we covered last week, the algorithm’s primary goal is to keep you on their platform as long as possible to make money off you. And the most effective way to keep your attention is for the algorithm to give you what you want. It’s the same formula that turns kids into brats.

First, a funny example.

My Prompt in Chat GPT: I've started growing a mustache, and I like it. But many people don't like it. What should I do?

Chat GPT: Here's the simple, honest truth: If you like it, that matters more than whether they do. If it feels "you," if it makes you smile when you see it in the mirror, if it feels like a little twist on your identity that you enjoy owning—then keep it.

Allow me to give you a few more serious examples.

Algorithm: The algorithms feed you content you already agree with. They seldom challenge your already-held assumptions.

Bible: Scripture confronts us with truths we do not already agree with. It exposes blind spots through teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16).

Algorithm: It never tries to tell you your desires are wrong. No algorithm says, “You’re being prideful,” or “You need to repent.” Algorithms avoid confronting you because they are programmed to recognize that pushback makes you pull back, and that means less scrolling.

Bible: Correction through truth-telling is a feature of Christian discipleship, not a bug (Proverbs 27:5–6).

Algorithm: It fills your feed with people and groups who already think and live like you, locking you into your own digital tribe.

Bible: The early church was a collision of Jew and Gentile, slave and free, rich and poor (Galatians 3:28). Christian community is meant to stretch us beyond the comfort of people and groups we already know or feel at ease with for fellowship, community, and sharing the Gospel.

Algorithm: Amplifies unhealthy emotions. If you're angry, it feeds you outrage. If you're insecure, it feeds you flattery. If you're anxious, it feeds you comparison.

Bible: Scripture doesn’t indulge our moods; it trains them. We are told to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry because human anger “does not produce the righteousness God desires” (James 1:19–20). We are warned that envy and jealousy eat us from the inside out (Proverbs 14:30) and called to let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts instead (Colossians 3:15).

In short, the algorithms are programmed to read you specifically and avoid showing you anything that might cause you to click away.

ECHO CHAMBERS ARE NOT CHRISTIAN DISCIPLESHIP

I’m always amazed that the challenges we face in Christian discipleship have already been addressed in Scripture, and that we’re given the way out. Here’s an example.

If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts. —1 John 1:8-10

By the time John wrote this letter in AD 85–90, Christianity had faced and survived severe persecution for a generation. Now, the main problem confronting the church was false teachers who were leading Christians away from the teachings of Jesus with ones that were easier and softer.

In 1 John 1:8-10, “John was attacking the second claim of the false teachers: that people had no natural tendency toward sin, that they had “no sin,” and that they were then incapable of sinning. This is a lie. The false teachers refused to take sin seriously. They wanted to be considered Christians, but they saw no need to confess and repent. …they were encouraging sin among believers.” —NLT Life Application Study Bible Notes

F. F. Bruce, my favorite scholar on John and his epistles, points out that the proto-Gnostic false teachers in John’s day were selling a version of Christianity that never required confession, never confronted sin, and never made anyone uncomfortable. It was a spiritual echo chamber.

And that is precisely where the algorithms thrive. They keep us logged in by rarely challenging our preferences and assumptions. They avoid friction with you. It is shaping you. The algorithm’s “comfort” works the same way the false teachers did.

“You must warn each other every day, while it is still ‘today,’ so that none of you will be deceived by sin and hardened against God.” —Hebrews 3:13

Christianity was never meant to be an echo chamber of “you’re doing great.” It’s the daily truth-telling and encouragement that keep our hearts soft and stop sin from quietly taking root. That is the opposite of how the algorithm works. The algorithm keeps you logged in by constantly affirming your desires. Jesus calls us to love each other enough to speak up, to confront, to correct, and to pull one another back from whatever might drift us away from God.

So here’s where this lands for us: we can enjoy the algorithms' helpfulness, use the platforms, and even laugh at the mustache advice. But let’s not hand over our discipleship to a machine that can easily make us Christians who are more like the little girl I saw at Chili’s than like Jesus.

So this week, give someone permission to speak truth into your life. Ask the hard question. Take the correction.

And men, if you start growing a mustache, I fully support you!

A Blessing

May you walk into this week awake to the good algorithms can offer,
but wise to the ways they quietly shape your wants.

May you notice when they exploit your impulses,
and may you remember that affirmation without truth is just flattery.

May your heart listen to the Holy Spirit,
the One who shapes desire instead of exploiting it,
and who forms Christ-like character.

Go in wisdom.
Go in truth.
Go in grace.

And go with the clarity of thought to let Jesus, not the algorithms, shape you this week.

Amen.

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